टीचर – कौन सा पंछी सबसे तेज़ उड़ता है?
बॉय- हाथी।
टीचर- नालायक, तेरा बाप क्या करता है?
बॉय- छोटा राजन की गैंग में शूटर है।
टीचर – शाब्बाश ! हाथी सही जवाब है।

Gabbar sends Kaalia and two others to Ramgad to collect the loot-maar software he had ordered.
They reach Ramgad and started shouting: “Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh loot-maar software? Last date to kab ka nikal gaya “.

Thakur [with anger]: “Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki Thakur Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund kar diya hai.” Read the rest of this entry »

Q1. Prasad ask’s Kumble to bring a pepsi… Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.? why ?why ??

Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener

Q2. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie ‘heart is umbrella’. Which movie did he really want to see?

Ans:- Dil Chhata Hai!

Q3. Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?

Ans:- aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!

Q4. What will! u call a person who is leaving India ?? Socho……………

Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).

Q5. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha? Read the rest of this entry »

An elephant has 5 bananas and it is hungry, but yet it does not eat the bananas. Why ?

A: Because the bananas are made of plastic.

Next…Q

Q: The 5 bananas are real , but yet the elephant does not eat it. Why?

A: Because the elephant is made of plastic.

Q: Both the elephant and the bananas are real, but yet it cannot eat it.

Why ?

A: Because the bananas are in the TV.

Q: Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?

A: Because they are on different channels. Read the rest of this entry »

एक समय में एक Poultry Farm का मालिक था जो की अपनी मुर्गियों के द्वारा कम अंडे दिए जाने की वजह से परेशान था
एक दिन उसने सभी मुर्गियों को हुक्म दिया की कल से मुर्गियां ज्यादा अंडे दे

मालिक :अगर तुम लोगों ने कल से 2-2 अंडे नहीं दिए तो कल से तुम्हारा दाना पानी बंद

मुर्गिया डर गयी …. सब ने 2-2 अंडे दिए मगर एक ने सिर्फ एक अंडा ही दिया
मालिक: तुम ने 1 अंडा ही दिया है ? तुम्हें मेरा डर नहीं ? Read the rest of this entry »

Mallika arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting.

Bhikhari: Behanji 1 rupiya dedo.

Malika gave him 1000 Rs.

Secretary: Why u gave him 1000 Rs..?

Malika: Pehli bar kisine behan kaha!

Ek baar ek terrorist ne Ritu ke ghar mein bomb rakh diya.

Log chillaye : Ritu bomb hai, Ritu bomb hai.

Ritu sambhal kar boli : Dhatt teri ki, woh toh mein jawani mein thi !! Ab nahi rahi.

Larki mehnati hoti hai

Wife: Why are you waiting here?

Husband: Sher ka shikar karne ja raha hoon mere darling!

Wife: Toh jao naa khade kyu ho!

Husband: Kaise jaau.. Bahar kutta jo khada hai!

Ek gora aadmi tha. Jab uska ladka paida hua toh woh kala tha.

Tabhi woh apni patni ke paas jata hai aur poochta hai, “Yaar main bhi gora tha tum bhi gori thi to bachcha kaise kala paida ho gaya”

Aur phir uski biwi ne jawab diya, “Darling main bhi hot tum bhi hot sayad bachcha jal gaya hoga.”

Pappu ek party mein gaya aur waha usne 8 butter naan kha liye.

Kuch der baad toilet mein pet pakad ke ro raha tha bhagwan se request kar raha tha ki, “Hey bhagwan ya toh jaan nikal de ya naan nikal de!”

Chintoo : Aaj maine apni class mein sabse pyaari larki ko phansa li..

Friend : Woh kaisey?

Chintoo : “Class lagi thi.. Maine kaghaz ka jahaz bana ke Phainka. Jahaza teacher ke pass chala gaya. Uss ne ghusey se poocha yeh kiss ne phainka? Maine us larki ka naam le liya aur who phans gaye bichari.”

Teacher to a student: “Ess line ki english banao- Usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gaya.”

Student – He done his work and done-dana-dan done-dana-dan.

One: Oye tera ek daant neela kyun ho gaya?

Two: Yaar maine ink lagayi hai.

One: Woh kyun.?

Two: Kyun ke aaj kal “bluetooth” ka zamana hai yaar…

Malik alsi nokar se:- Yahan par itne sare machcher gun-gun kar rahen hai tu unhe maar gira.

Thodi der bad

Malik:- Abe sale nokar ke bachche maine tujhe machcher marne ko kaha abhi tak tune mare nahi. Woh ab bhi gun-guna kar rahe hai

Alsi nokar:- Malik machcher toh maine maar diye. Yeh toh unki bibi hai jo vidhva ho kar ro rahi hai.