2nd Sardar : Itne… Pyaar se?
1st Sardar : Tumhari hai…

Ek thi Rani…

Donon mar gaye khatam kahani.

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Neechay kya lash dhoond rahay ho??? Bola na kahani khatam.

Santa : Maine mana kiya tha ke…
Jasmeet : Phone mere liye tha!

Ajit : Rabert Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Beemer daalde aur Imran ko out karde.

Rabert : Ok boss Robert goes to Kapil and tells the message.

Kapil nods and bowls but Imran hits it for a six!

Ajit : Rabert ab Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Yorker daalde aur Imran kaa kaam tamam karde.

Rabert : Ok boss He goes to Kapil and tells the message.

Kapil nods and bowls but Imran again hits it for a six again. Now just one ball and six runs to win.

Rabert : Boss ab Kapil se jaake kya kehna hai?

Ajit : Ab Kapil se kuch mat kehna. Imran se jaake kehna ki uski maa aur beewi hamare kabje mein hai!

“Bivi aur ghadi mey kya faraq hey?”

Doosra Aadmi bola:

“Ek bigarti hai to bandh ho jati hai……Doosari bigarti hai to “SHUROO” ho jati hai”

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the child into this world, she should retain custody.

The man also wanted custody of his child. The judge asked for his side of the story too.

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and argued, ‘Your Honour, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?’

Hai koi jawaab???

Somebody stops him and asks, kya hai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?

Sardarji replies, Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na mar jaun

Maya : Dikhta nahi, goatwa hai.
Lalu : Hum goatwa se hi puch raha hu!!!

“Oye why are you sad?”

To which Santa replies …“I lost Rs 300 in bet.”

His friend ask hims…“How?”

Santa Singh says..“I bet on India for Rs 200…”But unfortunately India lost

His friend queries..“But you said Rs 300…”

Santa Singh answers…“I again bet for India for Rs 100 in the highlights of the match”

Banta ne sher ki aakhon main matthi phenki, aur bhaagne lagaa aur santa ko bhi bhaagne ko kahaa.

Santa : Main kyun bhaagu, matthi to tune phenki hai.

Girl of 2007 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aje moray balma warna dusra tayyar hai.

Somebody asked,“Sardarji aapko chain nahin hai kya?”

Sardar : Hai to sahi, par khul nahin rahi!

Thori der baad naukar bhagta hua aya aur bola…

“Sahebji, sahebji kutte’ji’ ne murgi’ji’ ko pakar liya hai”

Yadi tumhare andar yeh saare guun shamil hai to tumhe yeh naukri mil sakti hai.

Umeedwaar : Saheb yeh saare gun meri biwi mein hai, usse bulau?

Woh log jor jorse antarrashtriya stor ke batien kar rahe thhe.

Upar ke birth par so rahe ek brahmin ko bahut pareshani ho rahi thhi.

Batien karte karte ek sajjan bole, “pahle punjibaad aya, fir samyabaad aur aab samajbaad ayega.”

Tabhi upar se woh vyakti chillaya, “bhaisaab jab Ilahabaad aye to mujhe thora jaga dena!!!”

The other Sardar Jee bravely gets up and dives into the water to rescue the boy.

When the Sardar Jee gets near to the boy he notices lot of people has surrounded him.

The Sardar Jee asks nervesuoly “Oh Gee Hoya?“

The man, who was a producer replies “Tu meri shooting kurab gurthee“

In fact as a cinema screen the owner of the theater had installed a khaadi dhoti. The villagers were very happy with the idea of a khaadi dhoti screen. They decided to dedicate the theater to Mahatma Gandhiji, and named the theatre: GANDHI KEE DHOTI

Some of the Up coming attractions at GANDHI KEE DHOTI as advertised in the
local newspaper were:

Gandhi kee Dhoti mein KACHHE DHAGE
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein HAL-CHAL
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Daraar
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Chuppa Rustom
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Baazigar
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Do Jasoos
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Aandhi
Gandhi kee Dhoti mein Garam Hawaa

Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Banno : Oji car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehle ghar pahunch jaate hain….!

Rabri : Par tuhar likhna to aawe nahi.
Laalu : Vo sasura bhi to padhna nahi jaanat.

1ST : koi badi cheez bata.
2ND : M.R.F ka tyre de de.

He saw a zebra and started beating it and said, ‘Sala tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai’.

Puttar maang maang… kya chahiye tujhey !

Bakth utha … bola shivji mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do!

Shivji bole kaisa gadha hai? Unhone kaha puttar tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai. kuch bada maang!

Wo fir bola nahi ji mujhey to aap guitar hi do!

Shivji ne phir samajhaya abey kuch dhang ka maang!

Par wo bola, nahi aap to mujhey guitar hi do!

Shivji uskey pao main gir gaye bole yaar tu kuch aur maang. guitar na maang…

Wo bola nai nai nai !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye.

Ab Shivji gussey main aa gaye ..bole , abey agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo bajata phirta???

Aurat chilla kar boli, “Break nahi maar sakte they kya ???”

Pathan herat se… “Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida.”

Sadhu : Nahin
TT : Chalo
Sadhu : Kahan?
TT : Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein

Sardarji bolata hai : To pahele hi acchi tarah se dekh lene ka na sab word hai ke nahi, aage se word rahenge wohi dictionary le.

Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.

Sohan: Kyun ki isko pine ke baad unke chue jaise pati shero jaise bartab karne lagte hai!!!

Jack: Accha kya who aisa kar paya?

Krish: Ha uska bill chukane ke liye mujhe apni car jo bechni padi.

Marij ke marne ke baad doctor ne diwar par tangi bhagwan ki taswir ki ore haath jodkar sir jhukate hue puri shradha ke saath kaha: Hey prabhu meri ore se yeh pehli bhet swikar kijiye!