Sardar talking on cell.
2nd Sardar : Kis se baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar : Biwi se…

2nd Sardar : Itne… Pyaar se?
1st Sardar : Tumhari hai…

Ek tha Raja…

Ek thi Rani…

Donon mar gaye khatam kahani.

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Neechay kya lash dhoond rahay ho??? Bola na kahani khatam.

Phone ki ganti baji.
Santa : Phone mere liye ho toh kehna mein ghar pe nahi hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo ghar pe hain.

Santa : Maine mana kiya tha ke…
Jasmeet : Phone mere liye tha!

Ajit is watching cricket match of India vs.Pakistan. Kapil is bowling and Imran is batting. Pakistan needs 18 runs in 3 balls.

Ajit : Rabert Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Beemer daalde aur Imran ko out karde.

Rabert : Ok boss Robert goes to Kapil and tells the message.

Kapil nods and bowls but Imran hits it for a six!

Ajit : Rabert ab Kapil se kehna ek khatarnak Yorker daalde aur Imran kaa kaam tamam karde.

Rabert : Ok boss He goes to Kapil and tells the message.

Kapil nods and bowls but Imran again hits it for a six again. Now just one ball and six runs to win.

Rabert : Boss ab Kapil se jaake kya kehna hai?

Ajit : Ab Kapil se kuch mat kehna. Imran se jaake kehna ki uski maa aur beewi hamare kabje mein hai!

Ek aadmi doosrey aadmi sey bola:

“Bivi aur ghadi mey kya faraq hey?”

Doosra Aadmi bola:

“Ek bigarti hai to bandh ho jati hai……Doosari bigarti hai to “SHUROO” ho jati hai”

A man and his wife were seeking a divorce at a local court. But the custody of their child posed a problem.

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the child into this world, she should retain custody.

The man also wanted custody of his child. The judge asked for his side of the story too.

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and argued, ‘Your Honour, when I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?’

Hai koi jawaab???

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him.

Somebody stops him and asks, kya hai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?

Sardarji replies, Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na mar jaun

Mayawati came to Lalu’s house with a goat…
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun layi ho?

Maya : Dikhta nahi, goatwa hai.
Lalu : Hum goatwa se hi puch raha hu!!!

Seeing Santa Singh depressed one of his friends asks him.

“Oye why are you sad?”

To which Santa replies …“I lost Rs 300 in bet.”

His friend ask hims…“How?”

Santa Singh says..“I bet on India for Rs 200…”But unfortunately India lost

His friend queries..“But you said Rs 300…”

Santa Singh answers…“I again bet for India for Rs 100 in the highlights of the match”

Santa and banta jungle mein, saamne aayaa sher…

Banta ne sher ki aakhon main matthi phenki, aur bhaagne lagaa aur santa ko bhi bhaagne ko kahaa.

Santa : Main kyun bhaagu, matthi to tune phenki hai.

Girl of 1960 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aja moray balma tera intezar hai.

Girl of 2007 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aje moray balma warna dusra tayyar hai.

A Sardarji went to toilet ten times within half-an-hour.

Somebody asked,“Sardarji aapko chain nahin hai kya?”

Sardar : Hai to sahi, par khul nahin rahi!

Ek aadmi ne ek gawar naukar rakh liya aur usse samjhaya ki kissi ke naam lene se pahle JEE laga diya kare.

Thori der baad naukar bhagta hua aya aur bola…

“Sahebji, sahebji kutte’ji’ ne murgi’ji’ ko pakar liya hai”

Officer: Dekho, humme aisa chaukidaar chahiye jo sehatmand ho, chust, chalak aur chaukanna ho, jarurat parne par jisse hum daat bhi saake…

Yadi tumhare andar yeh saare guun shamil hai to tumhe yeh naukri mil sakti hai.

Umeedwaar : Saheb yeh saare gun meri biwi mein hai, usse bulau?

Delhi se Mughalsarai jaanewali ek train mein kuch budhyijibi type ke log sawar thy..

Woh log jor jorse antarrashtriya stor ke batien kar rahe thhe.

Upar ke birth par so rahe ek brahmin ko bahut pareshani ho rahi thhi.

Batien karte karte ek sajjan bole, “pahle punjibaad aya, fir samyabaad aur aab samajbaad ayega.”

Tabhi upar se woh vyakti chillaya, “bhaisaab jab Ilahabaad aye to mujhe thora jaga dena!!!”